“Regulate Your Nervous System” Is Everywhere—Here’s What That Actually Means
You’ve probably heard it a thousand times:
“Just regulate your nervous system!”
“Your anxiety is a dysregulated nervous system.”
“You need nervous system healing before anything else.”
Cool. But… what does that actually mean?
If you're a high-functioning adult juggling stress, responsibilities, pain, or chronic health challenges, chances are you’re already exhausted. The last thing you need is vague advice that leaves you feeling more behind.
Let’s break it down—without the jargon or wellness cult energy—and offer some grounded, real-life strategies for when your system is fried, and you're over it.
What Is Nervous System Dysregulation?
Your nervous system is your body’s communication highway. It's constantly scanning your environment for safety and determining whether to activate the “go-go-go” (sympathetic) mode or the “rest-and-digest” (parasympathetic) mode.
When everything’s working smoothly, you move between these states as needed.
But when stress becomes chronic—or you’ve been through trauma, illness, or burnout—your nervous system can get stuck.
That stuck-ness might look like:
Feeling anxious, jumpy, or hyperaware
Brain fog or complete shutdown
Trouble sleeping or resting—even when you’re tired
Physical symptoms like tension, headaches, GI issues
A general feeling of being “off” that you can’t shake
This is nervous system dysregulation. And no, you're not broken. You're just human—and probably trying to do too much without enough support.
What Does “Regulating” Your Nervous System Mean?
Regulation doesn’t mean “getting calm” or “being chill” all the time.
It means:
👉 Being able to move flexibly between states—activation, focus, rest, movement—without getting stuck in high alert or total collapse.
It’s less about achieving calm and more about building capacity.
Your ability to feel safe in your body, even when life is chaotic.
What Doesn’t Work (Even Though the Internet Says It Will)
Let’s call out some things that might not be helpful if you're already dysregulated:
Trying to meditate while your brain is racing
Feeling guilty for not doing “enough self-care”
Doing more biohacks when you're already overwhelmed
Expecting one breathwork session to undo five years of stress
Shaming yourself when regulation isn’t instant
Regulation isn’t a checkbox. It’s a practice—and it starts with listening to your body, not trying to fix it.
What Does Help (and Is Actually Doable)
Here’s what works—especially if you’re navigating anxiety, burnout, chronic illness, or pain.
1. Co-Regulation: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Your nervous system was designed to regulate in the presence of other people.
That’s right: even if you're an introvert or “the strong one,” being with safe others can help your body relax in ways solo coping can’t.
Try:
Calling or texting someone who gets you
Sitting near a friend or partner, even in silence
Watching a calming video of someone speaking gently or modeling regulation
Talking to your therapist (👋)
Sometimes, you don’t need advice—you just need safe connection.
2. Gentle Movement: Shift Your State, Not Your Schedule
When your system is stuck in fight, flight, or freeze, movement tells your body:
“I’m not in danger. I can move. I’m okay.”
This doesn’t mean HIIT or hot yoga (unless that helps you). Try:
Walking and swinging your arms
Stretching your neck or shoulders
Pushing against a wall (isometric tension can help with shutdown)
Dancing to one song in your kitchen
If you’ve been still for too long, movement can give your system a reset—without needing to “exercise.”
3. Orienting: Look Around, Literally
When your brain is racing, your eyes are often stuck—narrowed, darting, or glazed over.
Orienting helps you shift your nervous system by reminding your brain: You're safe.
Here’s how:
Pause and look around the room
Slowly scan the space
Notice what your eyes are drawn to
Let yourself settle on something visually pleasant (light, texture, color)
It’s subtle, but it works. Your nervous system takes in that visual information and starts to downshift.
4. Make Your To-Do List Smaller (Yes, Smaller)
This is your permission slip to do less.
If your brain is overwhelmed, nervous system regulation won’t happen through adding more.
It happens when you subtract.
Try this:
Pick one thing to cancel, delegate, or put off
Write a “what’s enough for today” list
Let rest count as progress
Sometimes regulation starts with saying: “This can wait. I’m not a machine.”
5. Anchor to Your Senses
When your thoughts are spiraling, your body can be an anchor.
Try a quick sensory reset:
Splash cold water on your face
Hold an ice cube or mug of tea
Smell an essential oil or lotion
Press your feet into the floor and notice the texture
Wrap yourself in a soft blanket and squeeze your arms
Sensory input tells your brain: “I’m here. I’m safe. I’m in my body.”
Final Thoughts
Nervous system regulation isn’t a trend.
It’s a core part of healing, especially if you’re dealing with:
Chronic stress
Insomnia
Pain or illness
Burnout
Anxiety that just won’t turn off
And no—you don’t need to do it perfectly.
You just need support, patience, and tools that actually work for your life.
Want Support With This?
I help adults—especially those navigating chronic illness, insomnia, pain, or burnout—reset their nervous systems in sustainable, science-backed ways.
Therapy with me is collaborative, flexible, and grounded in both mind and body.
No pressure, no overwhelm—just care that meets you where you are.
