Can You Be Addicted to Stress? (And What to Do About It)
The other night I finally sat down — dishes were done, kid was asleep, inbox closed. I had a full hour of quiet. And still, my brain whispered…
“What did I forget?”
That wired-but-tired feeling is more than just mental clutter. It’s a nervous system that’s gotten used to operating in overdrive.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I feel more comfortable when I’m stressed than when I’m resting?” — you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken.
Some researchers have even started calling this experience being “addicted to stress.”
So… is that a real thing?
Let’s talk about it.
Why We Get “Hooked” on Stress
Okay, first things first: “stress addiction” isn’t a formal diagnosis. But it’s a helpful way to describe something many people experience — a compulsive relationship with busyness, urgency, and mental overload.
Here’s what’s really happening under the hood:
When we experience stress, our body releases adrenaline and cortisol. These stress hormones give us energy, sharpen focus, and help us power through. In small doses, that’s actually helpful. But in high doses, or over long periods of time, our system adapts.
We begin to associate stress with productivity, importance, identity — even safety.
Your brain learns:
“I’m at my best when I’m under pressure.”
“If I stop moving, I fall behind.”
“Doing more = being more valuable.”
And just like that, stress becomes not only familiar… it becomes the default.
What Stress Addiction Looks Like in Real Life
This doesn’t always look like chaos. In fact, it often shows up in high-functioning, high-achieving professionals who look like they have it together.
Here’s how it might show up:
Rest feels like a waste of time, or makes you anxious
You feel physically restless when not doing something “useful”
You constantly jump from task to task, even on weekends or vacation
You use busyness to avoid discomfort or hard emotions
You feel more "yourself" when you’re multitasking or under pressure
Let’s be clear: liking to stay busy or feeling driven isn’t a bad thing.
The problem comes when stillness feels unsafe — when your nervous system can’t come down even when you want it to.
You’re Not Addicted — You’re Conditioned (And That Can Change)
I’ve worked with so many smart, capable people who say the same thing:
“I know I need to slow down, but when I do… I feel guilty, irritable, or like I’m falling behind.”
And I get it — I’ve been there, too. The world constantly tells us to push harder, do more, keep going. It rewards us for being burned out, then whispers that we’re lazy if we dare to rest.
But here’s the thing: your response to stress makes total sense.
Your body is doing what it’s been trained to do — keep you safe by staying busy. That’s survival mode.
And just like it learned that pattern, it can unlearn it, too.
Let’s Talk About the Nervous System
This is where the science meets your lived experience.
When your nervous system is in a chronic state of activation (fight-or-flight), it gets harder to access calm, connected, or restful states (rest-and-digest).
And the longer you stay in that heightened state, the more dysregulated your system becomes. You might feel:
Jumpy or irritable even when nothing’s wrong
Exhausted but unable to sleep
Restless during downtime
Disconnected from your body or emotions
This isn’t a failure of willpower.
It’s biology. And it’s fixable.
3 Micro-Shifts to Help You Rewire Your Response to Rest
You don’t need a total life overhaul. You don’t need to move to the woods or delete your calendar.
You just need a few gentle shifts to start nudging your nervous system back into balance:
1. Reframe Rest as Fuel, Not a Reward
Instead of earning rest by pushing to the limit, start treating it like part of the process.
Try this mindset: “Rest isn’t what I get for doing enough — it’s what helps me keep going.”
2. Try “Productive Pausing”
Build in short breaks throughout your day before you’re completely drained. Even a 2-minute stretch, a walk around the block, or five deep breaths can start to signal safety to your system.
3. Practice Low-Stakes Rest
Start with rest that doesn’t feel too loaded. Sit on your porch. Lie down without folding laundry first. Do something enjoyable without needing it to be “productive.” It will feel awkward at first. That’s okay.
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing something new.
Therapy Can Help You Feel Safe Slowing Down
If you’re nodding along and thinking, “Yep, this is me…” — you’re not alone. This pattern is common, especially among professionals, parents, caretakers, and anyone used to being the go-to person for others.
In therapy, we can work on:
Identifying the thoughts and beliefs driving your rest guilt
Understanding your nervous system and how to regulate it
Creating realistic ways to rest, recharge, and reset without falling into old habits
Building a version of “success” that doesn’t require you to burn out to feel worthy
Because you deserve a life that isn’t built on survival mode.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Lazy — You’re Tired. And That’s Allowed.
Rest doesn’t have to feel like a crisis.
It can become part of your rhythm again — something your body trusts instead of fears.
This post is part of my Stress Reset Series, where I’m breaking down what keeps us in go-mode, and how to build a life that actually supports rest, recovery, and resilience.
✨ Ready for more? Grab my free Stress Reset Starter Kit here.
💬 And if you’re ready to shift out of survival mode and into something more sustainable, schedule a free consultation here.
